LET’S GROW

Before we get started, for some reason the newsletter is ending up in people’s promotional folder. I am figuring out how to fix that on my end. In the meantime, here is how you teach Gmail to put this newsletter in your main folder.

1. Grab and drag the email from promotional to your main folder.

2. Select that this is where you would like the newsletter to go in your settings.

Defense mechanisms are usually an adaptation to situations that have happened to you. The issue is sometimes the situation changes but our feeling of defensiveness doesn’t. Here are some common emotional defense mechanisms and how to diffuse them. There is also a personal story in the Bestie section. 

Projection  

Taking the feelings or desires you have personally and placing it on others.

Example - Jen’s BF is always checking up to see if she is cheating on him, and she is not. It is possible that Jen’s BF wants to, or already is cheating.

Solution 

• Know your own personal truth. If you aren’t cheating and you explained that, it’s on them to accept it or not. 

• Consider the source. If they are saying something about you and they don’t know you…it’s generally projection.

  Rationalization

  Inventing good but false reasons to explain your behavior.

Example - Jake goes for a job and did not get it. He rationalized this by saying he didn't want the job anyway. 

Solution 

• Look at the situation as an opportunity for growth. How to do better in the future.

• Celebrate that you made effort for yourself.