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- Here are the different types of personal boundaries
Here are the different types of personal boundaries
with examples to help you set them
Chris Thompson
March 05, 2024
LET’S GROW
There are many different areas in which we set boundaries. Some of them might be easier for you and some of them might be difficult.
In this edition we are covering the five different types of boundaries. Out of the five, I struggle the most with Emotional Boundaries. It’s tough when emotions get involved, so let’s give you some tools!
We will be having further discussion in the discord tonight so come join us! Become a Bestie!
Which Boundary is most difficult for you? |
5 types of Boundaries
Emotional
Emotional Boundaries communicate the level of closeness you are comfortable with when it comes to you and your feelings as well as the emotions you are comfortable receiving from others. This allows you to feel safe, while still maintaining a connection of some sort with that person.
Example - “When you put me down in front of others it hurts my feelings. If we are to continue a friendship, I need that to stop.”
This sets the boundary for how you want to be spoken to. They now know that if they cross that boundary, they lose access to you. The choice is now theirs.
Time
Time Boundaries are about taking ownership of your time. You can share said time with people of your choice, but it’s your CHOICE. The need to communicate Time Boundaries is SUPER common in both professional and personal arenas, so I will give examples for both.
Personal - “I won’t be able to make it to the bar tonight, but thank you for the invite.”
You don’t even have to have plans. Your plans can be just hanging out by yourself. As an introvert myself, alone time is not optional, it’s needed. If they press for more info just say you have plans.
Professional - “I will not be able to work after hours. I will circle back to this during our normal business hours.”
Companies will try to get the most of you, even to your own detriment. If you work 9-5, then your hours are 9-5 as that's what they pay you for. At 5:15 PM I shall already be in sweatpants with snacks…sorry boss.
Intellectual
Intellectual Boundaries are about giving and receiving respect for thoughts and ideas, even if not everyone agrees. Good lord right now this is so important. I literally created this community to have somewhere people can share ideas and respectfully disagree.
Example - I am someone who really prioritizes respect, even for those I don’t agree with. “I see we disagree on this subject and that’s ok. However, if we can’t continue in a respectful manner, I will not be continuing this conversation.”
You will usually get your answer for whether or not they will honor this boundary immediately. You aren’t attacking them, you just aren’t allowing them to attack you. Side note: Comment sections are horrible places for good discussion. Save yourself the headache and just come talk in the Unfiltered Friends Discord.
Financial
Financial boundaries protect your financial well-being and make sure you are not being taken advantage of financially.
Example - Say you have a friend who likes to go out to eat a lot. You either don’t have a desire to spend that much money on food or can’t spend that kind of money on food. “Going out to eat is not in the budget right now, but thanks for the invite.”
If your friends pressure you and make you uncomfortable around this subject, it’s time for new friends.
Physical
Physical Boundaries can be anything from personal space to being fully intimate with someone. You should never be touched in a way that makes you uncomfortable. This one hits really close to home for many of us. I will give several examples of this.
“No.” (full sentence)
“Give me space or I will be leaving”
“I am not comfortable hugging.”
“I am not ready to take this further.”
If ANYONE continues to violate this boundary after you set it, they need to be removed. You deserve to feel safe. This is not negotiable.
Tell me if there are any other boundaries you think are important. Understand that it’s very difficult to learn and maintain boundaries, so give yourself grace if you struggle. Next week we will start to cover how to get out of people-pleasing. Stay tuned - and if you want more, become a bestie!