LET’S GROW

A large number of people came to the newsletter this week after a series of stories I posted on Instagram. In this series of stories I had a lot of realizations about why I have shown up the way I have - in both my relationships and in business. This wasn’t something I wrote down beforehand. It was all stream of consciousness at the time and now I have had time to process it.

Here are the techniques I realized I was using to keep myself “safe” and why they didn’t work. At the end I will list the one thing that HAS been helping.

Shrinking myself

1. People had less respect for me and it made me a target.

2. I became very resentful for silencing myself, which it majorly affected my positive connections. This caused me to be even more isolated.

Realization - The majority of the issues people had with me actually had nothing to do with me. No amount of adjusting myself was going to fix that. I would let their actions have the power to affect my behavior, but that would only make it worse. The issue wasn’t me…it was their own powerlessness.

People Pleasing 

This can come in many forms, but for me it came in the form of being entertaining. If I could get people to laugh (usually at my own expense), then they weren’t hitting me or making fun of me.

Realization - This made me really funny and quick witted. It probably also led me to the career I eventually chose. It reinforced the idea that in order for people to be nice to me I had to serve them in some way. This majorly messed with my sense of worthiness and resulted in very toxic relationships, both romantically and in friendships.

Now, here is the solution to a lot of this it’s not complicated. It’s probably something you have heard, but maybe never internalized but YOU ARE ENOUGH. You always have been.

The thing that will bring you the right people is being exactly who you are. There are people who will judge you and people who will leave, but those people are only leaving because you are no longer their supply.

Become like the flower, not the bee, and watch your world bloom. You won’t feel the exhaustion of buzzing around trying to figure out where to land. Instead focus that energy inward to become the most deliciously fragrant flower. You will have less people, but the people you will have are the real ones and that is a blessing. Stop trying to convince people who refused to see you that you are worthy. You never needed their permission to shine.

LET’S DISCUSS

LET’S LEARN

READ - The gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown - https://amzn.to/3rW1wKL this book MAJORLY helped me with self acceptance.

WATCH - 6 ways to get people to respect you - https://youtu.be/mq1xzQlUxFc?si=uH22RMkVtHgATXQx quick watch on how to have more respect for yourself

 #commissionsearned

LET’S CELEBRATE

LET’S SHARE

LET’S SMILE

ON PERSONAL NOTE

I was discussing this with my editor. While I am in a position of authority by leading this group, I am above NO ONE. I am leading by example as I form these ideas for myself.

I think, too often, we feel like we need to be to a certain level of perfect to be leaders. Don’t wait to set examples for others. We are never truly finished and we can help so many by sharing our work in progress. I hope that you all do this both WITH me and by creating wonderful spaces in the world.

LET’S CONNECT

There are a few places for you to connect outside of the newsletter!

1. Discord - A place to chat, share, and grow with community members including movie nights every Monday!

2. Instagram - A place to reach out to me personally and get updates more frequently than the newsletter.

3. Patreon - A place to support the content you receive both weekly and daily. Get access to perks like hand written thank you cards, 1:1 video chats, an exclusive podcast, and more!