LET’S GROW

With Valentine’s Day approaching, we are about to be inundated with a lot of visuals and thoughts about romantic connection.

This can cause people to feel pressure to create their own romantic connections. While romance is wonderful, we want to make sure this connection is healthy as well. This involves a lot of communication early on. Understanding who our partner is and how they feel can give us a window into how we can show up for them….and if they are able to show up for us.

Here are 5 important questions to ask your partner. 

I also have an interview with my parents in the premium section about how they achieved their successful 45 year marriage, so check that out!

Question : How do you like to receive support when you are stressed?

Why : Ask them this while they are calm, so you can know how to show up for them when they are less able to communicate. We all have different ways of processing and it shows how compatible those processes are.

Question : If money were no object, what would you do with your time?

Why : It reveals what their values are. If you want to be with someone who cares for others, they will likely choose to do something where they are of service.

Question : What was one of your favorite things to do as a child?

Why : We often lose our connection to our inner child to adapt to adulthood. Don’t do it…it’s a trap. Their answer to this question can show you the way  to nourish their inner child. Nurturing that inner child can create playfulness in your connection. This may also help you understand some of the behaviors you see in your partner.

Question : What did you learn both positive and negative about yourself from your previous relationship?

Why : The answer to this can demonstrate if they are someone who takes time to grow and learn from their experiences. That same growth mindset will translate to your connection as well. If they are someone who solely focuses on the wrong doing of their previous partner, chances are they are not someone who takes accountability. 

Question : What is your love language?

Why : Taking that quiz together can teach you a lot. There are many loving actions that are overlooked, because it’s not the way that person receives. Understanding how you and your partner give and receive helps you both understand how to show up for each other. 

There are so many other questions you could ask, but this is a great start. Make sure you use questions and conversations like this as a means to connect, not to investigate, and you will create a much stronger bond. What other questions are important to you?