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- How to combat Gaslighting
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Gaslighting behavior can be majorly triggering.
Often, decent people can get caught up in gaslighting because they are trying to hear the other person’s side. When the other person’s side isn’t based in reality, that can be really difficult. Let’s fight back, shall we?
What Is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation that makes you second-guess your reality.
It can sound like:
“That never happened.”
“You’re being too sensitive.”
“You always twist things.”
“You’re remembering it wrong.”
“You’re overreacting.”
At its core, gaslighting is about control. If someone can get you to doubt yourself, they can protect their version of the truth, even if it means distorting yours.
Signs You Might Be Experiencing Gaslighting:
You apologize constantly, even when you’re not sure why
You replay conversations over and over in your head
You doubt your memory or feelings more than you used to
You feel confused, anxious, or like you’re “walking on eggshells”
You seek constant validation from others to confirm you’re not overreacting
If this sounds familiar, know this: You are not too sensitive. You are being manipulated.
How to Combat Gaslighting
Document it - I interviewed someone who has narcissistic personality disorder, and one thing he said was to take pictures of and document everything. This way, if they destroy your evidence, you still have it to show the true reality.
Don’t Argue - Trying to “prove” your version of reality to someone who’s gaslighting you only gives them more control. Instead, practice disengagement:
“I’m not going to debate my experience.”
“We remember things differently, and that’s okay.”
“I’m not comfortable with this conversation.”
Build a Reality-Checking Circle - Surround yourself with people who reflect your reality back to you, clearly, gently, and consistently. Isolation makes gaslighting stronger. Community breaks the spell.
Create Boundaries Without Apology - First of all, I can’t think of any case where you should apologize for genuine boundary setting. You are allowed to limit or cut off conversations, people, or environments that cause confusion and harm. That doesn’t make you “cold.” That makes you protective of your peace.
I will give you the same advice my grandma gave me when I was young: “Always trust your gut, as it’s trying to protect you.”
Know who you are
Know your truth
Know how you want to feel in a connection with someone
You deserve to feel sane, steady, and self-trusting. It’s okay to have differing views on things, but not on the truth. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!
If you would like to go into further discussion, please join us in the besties section. Now go forth and be unfiltered.
Affirmations
❓
I trust my memory, my emotions, and my truth.
I am not too sensitive—I am emotionally aware.
My reality is valid, even if someone else denies it.
I do not need permission to believe myself.
I have the right to set boundaries around my experience.
I do not need to argue to prove what I know.
My feelings do not require external approval to be real.
I can walk away from anyone who distorts my truth.
I am reclaiming my clarity and my voice.
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