LET’S GROW

I hope it's okay for this week if I spend this week's newsletter working out some of my thought processes of what happened this weekend. Experiencing loss seems to put things in perspective in a way that not much else does, so let's take a lesson from our friend Finn.

I recently started to date someone, and her dog was the most precious thing, half Corgi and half Golden, with the cutest stubby little legs and the most luxurious fur you could get lost in. Unfortunately, Finn was diagnosed with cancer a week ago, and the prognosis was 3 to 6 months. This sort of news is always devastating and creates a sense of urgency to make the best of the time that is left.

We created a master list of all the fun things that we were going to do with Finn, most of which he had already done throughout his life because he was loved well. That didn't matter he loved any time with his chosen people. Unfortunately, those three to six months were actually five days. It just happened so rapidly, and all of those plans were no longer possible.

I've lost a dog before, but it was sudden, so I never got to witness the intimacy of saying goodbye. To know that the awful decision of letting go is the most loving action that you can make, even though selfishly you want them to stay. What a fucking day that was….

Watching her express a lifetime of love and gratitude was such a heart-wrenchingly intimate and beautiful thing. This got me thinking about all of the plans that I had made for myself for a hypothetical future that I may never reach and how important it is to not put those ideas off. The only moment that we have guaranteed is this one.

I'm in the middle of a major shift in my life where I spent several years chasing things that didn't align with me anymore for the sake of comfort and security and often self-imposed expectation. If today I were to find out that it was my last day, I know I would be immensely sad that I spent it chasing a dream that no longer aligned with me.

All this to say, let's live like Finn. Let's live in this moment because it's the only one that’s real. Let's love hard and honestly and get excited. Don't put your joy on layaway so you can afford it later. Don't trade your time now for hypothetical adventure later. It may be scary and uncertain, but I would rather be afraid and push through it, than live in regret.