LET’S GROW

Last week I shared something really vulnerable with you all.

This is something I have shared before on social media, as well as worked on extensively in therapy. When I got done writing and got back to my car, I immediately started sobbing. I am not someone who shies away from a good cry, but I was taken by surprise when it happened. It’s not something I think about very often and I have done so much work on it to heal….why am I so emotional? Because healing isn’t linear and things will pop up and trigger you. Working on yourself gives you the tools to navigate those feelings, but it doesn’t erase them.

Since this is the last newsletter of the year and we are just starting this journey of growth together, I think it’s important to understand a few things about healing and growth (as I experience them).

My Lessons on healing 

1. It is a never ending process - As you experience life, you will take damage. You will be trying to heal previous traumas while also dealing with the current ones. Make peace with that and the journey will go smoother.

2. You need to take breaks - one of my most viral reels on Instagram talks about how tired I was of working on myself and that I am a “beautiful disaster.” At that point I had read so many self help books that I started to burn out. Give yourself time to recover, just like working out. This is a marathon, not a sprint.

3. You can love and work on yourself at the same time - with all this looking forward and working on myself, I never took time to appreciate myself. What is the point of working so hard on myself if the only version of me I appreciate is the unrealized version of myself? That Ideal may never come to pass. Since when has shaming yourself into success been a good tactic.

4. You will lose people - Healing can feel incredibly lonely, as most never attempt it, and if they do, it’s not at the same pace. This sounds like a bad thing, but I promise it’s good. The people who fall off were most likely using you, typically for some form of validation. You will grow apart from these people, but not have the new systems to connect with the right people. This in-between is where a lot of people quit. Don’t do that. Stay the course.

5. Release what you can’t control - the weight of all of this is heavy at times. We often worry about things we can’t control. While this is natural it’s not helpful. I’ll teach you what my therapist taught me. When I am stressing about something I take a vote with my hands. “Can control” is right and “can’t control” is left. Then I swoosh away my left hand if it’s something out of my control. This allows me to focus on what is truly important - and I focus on what I can take action on.

As we enter this new year a lot of us will have lofty goals and will be looking forward. While we do that, make sure to appreciate ourselves now and the lessons of this year. I will share my biggest lesson in the personal section, but I would love to hear yours?

LET’S DISCUSS

Here are some of the the responses from Patreon supporters on Discord. Join us!

Much like me with this newsletter….go slow and stay consistent. You will get there.

Redefining the meaning of selfish is a huge thing!

“Nothing changes if nothing changes….that’s a line! 🔥 

Unraveling those ideas are so tough but necessary.

ON PERSONAL NOTE

My people-pleasing nature would cause me to attach to things just so people would accept me. Truth is, I need to accept me FIRST. Next is that, outside of myself, I don’t need a lot of people to like me. If I have even a small group that truly knows me, and accepts me as I am, that is success. Happy New Year friends. Let’s keep growing together.

LET’S CONNECT

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1. Discord - A place to chat, share, and grow with community members including movie nights every Monday!

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