- Unfiltered Friends
- Posts
- I am the reason I am where I am
LET’S GROW
I thought I would take a break from the informational side of people-pleasing and dive a little bit into where I am in my life right now and how my people-pleasing got me here.
I also want to talk about how I’m going to get myself out.
My people-pleasing showed up as consistently forgoing all of my needs for the sake of others, to my detriment.
It also showed up as constantly changing who I was so that I would be accepted by others.
Last year, after getting out of a very toxic relationship – not only with what I do for a living, but with who I was seeing – I got to an absolute breaking point, and quit everything.
Watching all of the things that I built crumble around me was hard to do, but I came to the realization that I hadn’t built it for me. I had built it for other people. Regardless, the feeling of loss was real, and the grieving has been hard.
If you are in that process of removing the behavior that doesn’t work for you anymore and stepping into who you are, you probably feel like I do right now.
So incredibly lonely and unsure of the future. This is because you are in the in-between.
The people who were just using you for how you were of service to them disappear, but you haven’t stepped into who you are yet, so you aren’t yet attracting the right people for you.
I have one bit of advice for you guys, and it’s the advice that I give myself on a daily basis.
Do it scared!
The discomfort you feel means that change is happening, and that is such a wonderful thing. Believe in yourself enough to push through just that next moment because that next moment could be the moment you break through. You can’t win if you quit.
I’m sobbing while I am writing this. It’s been the hardest, yet most important, lesson I needed to learn. I have always been enough exactly as I am. I have value by just existing.
I would rather the discomfort of the unknown than the comfort of what I’ve always known. What I’ve always known no longer works for me.
I guess, by writing this, my biggest hope is that if you identify with what I am going through, you feel less alone in that.
In the meantime, focus on the wonderful people who stayed through all of your versions. Focus on the lessons that that previous version of you taught you.
Thank you for giving me the space to talk about this.