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Here are three steps for setting a boundary with someone.

It will help you to understand the conversation surrounding boundaries with the people in your life.

I will also be directly addressing the struggles that people in the premium section of the newsletter brought up as their personal struggles with boundary setting. If you'd like to participate more in depth, consider becoming a bestie!

Steps for Setting Boundaries

Create - In order to set a boundary successfully you first have to understand what that boundary is. I tend to do this by writing it or sending it to a TRUSTED friend, to see what they think about it. 

This makes it clear to you why you were setting the boundary, which makes you more able to articulate it to others if they challenge you.

State - Now it is time to tell the person you are setting a boundary with both what the boundary is and what behavior should be expected moving forward if that person still wants to be a part of your life.

Make sure you are as firm and clear as possible so there is no confusion. Try not to be so cold that you come off uncaring, but, in the end, your boundary is not really up for negotiation. Just be sure you are open to a conversation.

Maintain -   This is usually the part where a lot of people fall short. You likely already have an established way of being with the person that you set the boundary with; chances are that way of being worked for them. They may try to challenge said boundary and it is immensely important to remind them of the boundary when they try to do so.

Once you are firm in that boundary enough times with them, chances are their behavior will change. If their behavior doesn't change then it is time to consider removing yourself from the situation.

Next week I will cover the different types of boundaries and provide some examples you can follow to help guide you in your boundary setting journey. 

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