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Why calmness feels uncomfortable
Chris Thompson
December 16, 2025
LET’S GROW
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A lot of us have been stuck in survival mode for a very long time to the point where we aren't sure how to act any other way even when the threat isn't there. this is something I worked on with my therapist extensively and here are some of the realizations that might help you as well.
Your nervous system isn’t broken, it’s just wired for survival
You finally have a moment to breathe. There’s no crisis, no emergency, no emotional rollercoaster.
Just stillness.
And somehow… it feels worse than chaos.
Why Calm Feels Uncomfortable
When your body and brain have spent years running on adrenaline, stillness can feel like danger. You may have learned that. Being “on edge” kept you safe. This often times is very true and constant movement helped you avoid emotion. Not because you wanted to avoid it but because you didn’t have time to face it with bigger threats around.
Well now you do…the thing about emotions is you will deal with them eventually. This is not a thing you can
When you are used to always having something to fight and that enemy is no longer around your body panics. your body panics because you don't think there is no enemy around you think that you aren't noticing the enemy and they will pop out at any time. I promise you this isn't the case in a lot of situations. the feelings are real though.
How do we slow down?
Try doing one thing slower:
Walk slower
Eat without multitasking
Pause before responding to a text
Let your body experience calm without forcing a full stop.
Name the Discomfort Without Judgment
Instead of panicking when peace feels weird, name it:
“This is unfamiliar. I’m not used to this yet. But I’m safe.”
Awareness is the beginning of regulation. This is true with triggers as well.
3. Build Rituals That Signal Safety
Create daily practices that feel grounding
Tea instead of coffee
Soft music while you clean
Stretching before bed
You are creating a new consistent routine outside of hypervigilance.
Let Rest Be Productive
Calm doesn’t mean nothing is happening.
Growth often happens in the pause.
Let your nervous system catch up to your new reality.
This practice like most is going to feel very uncomfortable at first. you will continually scan for threats. you will feel unsafe and calmness but the only way to combat fear like this is information. the only way to get that information is to push forward even if it's scary. you will soon find that you are okay and you can relax.
one final thing that I did with my therapist is he taught me instead of getting angry with the survival part of my brain think it for helping me get this far but let it know it's no longer necessary. that part of you was needed so give it it's props and then excuse it from your mindset. being kind helped me move on. if you would like to go into further discussion please join us in the besties section. now go forth and be unfiltered
Affirmations
❓
I can find peace even when it feels unfamiliar.
It is safe to rest, breathe, and simply be.
My worth is not tied to how much I accomplish.
I trust the calm will get easier day by day.
Slowing down is not being lazy.
I release the need to create chaos to feel in control.
I allow myself to move at a gentle, deliberate pace.
My nervous system is learning to relax.
Stillness is good for my body and mind.
I am unlearning survival patterns.
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