LET’S GROW

I was given a lot of knowledge in therapy on how to navigate the judgment of others. Because my struggle is with worthiness

I would end up trying to explain myself to judgey strangers - because I had a need for people to like me. This happened to me recently. I did not use ANY of my lessons and got really upset with myself. With the holidays here and some uncomfortable family dynamics running rampant, I want to share a story to help you lean back and observe instead of leaning into the trap of proving yourselves to strangers.

and while I was there, someone recognized me from Instagram. They walked up to say hi and we talked briefly, then parted ways. Later on my friends wanted to play beer pong. When we got to the table the person who recognized me and her friends were on the other end and we decided to play against each other.

When we got started, they explained to their friend who didn’t know me that I had a large social media following. That friend’s first response was, “Don’t film me, I don’t want to get fired.”

What I did - I immediately tried to reassure her by saying “oh, I am not a problematic creator” and started explaining that I make content to help people.

What I wish I had done - Asked her, “Are you doing something worth being fired for?” or “Done! Can we play beer pong now?” 

Why did I feel the need to explain myself? It was like word vomit and I couldn’t stop myself. It doesn’t stop there.

Later in the game, out of nowhere, she says, “What was your name again? Chad? You look like a Chad.”

What I did - I immediately introduced myself, for the third time, and then once again leaned in to explaining that I was a good human who tried to help people.

What I wish I had done - I wish I had walked away. I wish I had said,

“Are you normally this rude to strangers or am I just lucky?” Once again, I had failed to use my therapy training.

I was really upset after all of this, but more so at myself for failing to use the tools I had learned. I felt very defeated. How do we fix something like this?

1. Know your truth - Remember that the sassy commentary and judgment of others is just opinions, not truth. Trust your own truth first.

2. Prepare yourself - I had my friend V on my podcast and they said, “Decide the type of experience you will have and stick to “When you go into a new space say to yourself, “I am going to have a great time tonight, but If something bad happens I know my truth.” This puts those truths/sense of self front of mind. You are more likely to react logically, rather than emotionally. This keeps you in control

3. Lean back - don’t lean in. When someone is being unkind, most of the time it has little to do with you. Lean back and ask, “Why is this person being unkind?” Of course check your own actions first, but we usually know why someone is acting the way they are. Allow logic in and be above it instead of trying to prove yourself to someone. They usually don’t deserve the effort and won’t listen to begin with. 

LET’S DISCUSS

Here are some of the the responses from Patreon supporters on Discord. Join us!

Let’s celebrate Jenni’s ability to get this under control

It’s amazing how helpful just taking a moment is.

We are all a work in progress. Keep going Hallie….or…WALTER KRONKITE

LET’S LEARN

💻WATCH - How to get through an emotional trigger https://bit.ly/3GtvGZe I love the Holistic Psychologist; here she teaches us how to navigate our triggers 

🎧LISTEN - 3 brain hack to control your thoughts and emotions https://bit.ly/3uHFFra 

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ON PERSONAL NOTE

I go through imposter syndrome sometimes when I am writing these posts. I sometimes say, “Why would anyone listen to me when they could listen to ____?”

I know I’m not the only one who can have this kind of talk, but I wanted to share what I say to myself. “I am the only person who has had my life experience, to share the way I do.”

Your voice is unique even if the message isn’t. Keep sharing.

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